Oxley's Reviews

Here you will find various reviews for certain movies I have watched and can be fucked to write about. Reviews may have possible spoilers, you have been warned.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)

Wes Craven's A Nightmare On Elm Street. I was the first successful film of its kind, weaving the dream with real life. The directing is amazing and in the process of making this master piece he created one of horrors best and well known Freddy Krueger. Who can forget the wonderfull shots and the film work in this? We get a peeking Freddy push against a latex wall over a sleeping Nacy. It also gave birth to the caree of Jonny Depp. Wes knew he had something big when he came up with this, and boy did he ever! Although the sequels soon span out of controll turning Freddy into more of an Anti-Hero then a cold hearted villain. I think this movie will stand the tes of time along with Friday The 13th and Halloween, as the greatest horror of all time. 10/10

Will add to this in time.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

I think this would have to be be second favourite slasher film of all time. My Bloody Valentine is pure gold. Yet its so simple but at the same time extremely effective. Brilliant story, its a lot like Halloween in ways, but in my mind its even better then that. The Miner well, its just so effective every time I see a gas mask the first thing I think of is Harry Warden. What makes it better is that it was actually filmed in mines, and not some cheap arse studio. I feel this film is highly underrated and should be more respected. I'm really looking forward to the un-cut version of this. Its going to be good to see it how it was meant to be. Also who can forget the awesome song during the credits. I think it really gives you a feeling for the movie. 10/10

Hellraiser (1987)

One of the finest horror's to date. Clive really pulled on something with this. Weather its the mystery surrounding the Cenobites, or the memorable characters, either way he hit it right on the head. The Cenobites are awesome alone, and its great how they are never over exposed. Always in dark places, and never explained as to what, or how they became what they are. Pinhead himself was great, I love the opening scene, such a great usage of techniques. It shows us what we are in for with out giving to much away. After the film is over your left thinking "what the hell were those things!?" Forget the sequels, Apart from Hellbound and Hell On Earth. this will go down in history as one of the greats. 10/10

Hellbound: Hellraiser II

I feel this is probably one of, if not the best sequel for any movie. Picking up exactly where the first leaves it, I sort of consider then to be the same movie. Hellbound: Hellraiser II certainly gives the original a run for its money. This is a mastery of character, bot twisted and deformed. it also shows us how a Cenobite is created, and gives us one of the most memorable ones next to Pinhead and Chatterer, Dr. Channard. I love this character, his so different to the others and doesn't abide by the rules. This vision of hell is also great, stating that everyone has a personal hell.
This film also has unforgettable scenes. *spoiler*
Like when Julia is brought back, its spin chilling to watch that guy cut himself up, sick, twisted and unusual. That's what Hellraiser is about, and this keeps that intact very well. One to see, for any horror fan. 10/10

My Bloody Valentine in 3D (A Remake)

The original is my second favourite film of all time. So, I was hoping this was going to be a great movie. I couldn't have been to wrong. Lets start by making Harry Warden a hug fucking man. Seriously, I'm over this "have to be big to be scary" crap. Secondly the story that filled the original about the Valentines Day Dance and Wardens revenge/curse is not mentioned once. Also, the belief that Warden himself being the killer is taken away very early in the film, where as the original you had no clue till the very last scene. I don't care what people say, that douche from Supernatural can't act for shit, this whole thing was terrible.The great suspense and awesome story of the original is completely lost in this garbage, the lovable group of mates is also missing, the only ones being Tom and Axle. The only aspect of the movie I liked is that its full of homages to the original. The 3D however I think is top notch, and I only watch it for the thrills at shit flying at my face.

Unless its in 3D, please for the love of god, do not watch this. 3/10

A Nightmare On Elm(?) Street Remake (2010)

I don't even know where to fucking start. Well, to be honest I LOVED Jackie's performence he was the only saving grace the film had. He absolutely stole every scene without effort. However, whether that is simply because he is portraying Krueger I don't know. Either way I enjoyed what he did with the character. However, every scene that isn't a nightmare I find very fucking lacking. Both in character development and acting and story changes. Why the FUCK did they need to change the back story? What is the purpose of the boiler room now? Other then the fact that's where he was burned, fucking bull shit. Not much of a "lair" at all. And there were some plot holes, I'm sure if 5 year old kids went through an ordeal such as that, they would never fucking forget it. And all the other killings of the kids didn't occur anywhere near Elm Street, that was fucking ridiculous (hence the question mark at the top). The re-used scenes from the original were a joke and done so poorly. The Glove in the bath tub was "rushed". The original lets the viewer take in what's happening, while it slowly moves towards Nancy creating suspense. Before quickly retreating. The remake, well, it's up and gone so quick if you turn your head you'll miss it. There are far to many attempts at jump scares which fail every fucking time anyway. Nancy was turned into a half Gothic loner, locked away in her room drawing fucking weird pictures. The character development is done so poorly, as with the acting we don't care for the characters. In the original you can see the effect the murders have on Nancy, they were all close friends. In the remake she barely talks to any of them, and seems mostly unaffected by their deaths. Are we meant to feel sympathy for the character? She was also nowhere near the heroic Nancy we all know and love. Sure she knew what to do, but she needed help from a little bitch. And the few scenes were she acted "tough" and knew what was going on had me shaking my head with the lines being spoken. I've seen better acting in the SyFy movies, no joke. Also, the transmission of her is hardly visible. In the original we get the grey streak of hair, she becomes pale, looks worn and her voice gets very unstable. Showing true signs of stress. In the remake all we get is red bagging under her eyes, we are suppose to believe that?

Tina's original death is so much more gripping and unbelievably violent then in it's reimaging, where we get her hitting the walls about four times with out ANY blood. The we see a quick 4 razor full body frontal slash with a small amount of blood emit from the wound before she drops back onto the bed and then the scene changes. In the original she is bloodied and fucking dragged around the roof with an indescribable feeling going on inside the viewer. The entire disruption of Krueger's actions while living have little to no effect on the town apart from the fact that they deny everything that happened. In the original it caused families to break up, not being able to live together after what had happened and what was done about it Marge even became an alcoholic to deal with the stress and guilt of it all. She also truly cared for her daughter where as in this she doesn't seem to give a fuck at all, doing absolutely nothing to help her, apart from, signing a form for her to be sedated, that's seriously it. At times Krueger make up looked very good, others it look horrible and so fake.

The main thing I fucking hated about it though? Was the way Krueger was killed, brought into the real world where he does absolutely nothing before having his throat cut with the exact same dialogue as in FvJ being screamed. Can't they fucking think of anything new? I would have been happy with the original being re-used, a lot more satisfying. At least Krueger put up a fight and was really tested. his lucky to be in the real world for a minute. That had me over flown with rage and pretty much destroyed any good feelings I had towards it. I have currently seen the original 74 times and counting, and I still never get bored or tired of it at any one moment. But there was scenes in this were I was pressing display to see how long I had left. The opening scene was very weak and 8 minutes in I had a terrible feeling. It picked up and had highs during the dreams but everything in the real world just hit a rock bottom low. I am 100% sure I will add to this post later on but for now I need a rest from all the ranting. May god have mercy on PD's soul. 2/10